The Attractor Factor: Why We Flirt and What It Means

Imagine this scene: two people walk into a room and immediately notice each other (cue the romantic music). They hesitantly take a few steps forward, smiling shyly. One runs fingers through tousled hair, while the other straightens a piece of clothing. One laughs nervously while the other coughs. Once they are within speaking distance, a conversation begins. The words, “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” issues forth from one, which causes eye rolls from the other and a screeching needle on record sound.

Is this the beginning of a beautiful friendship or a potential disaster? Will they laugh about this when they tell the story of their initial encounter at their wedding or will they be grateful that it didn’t progress beyond that first awkward interaction?
Flirting is something people learn in childhood as a means of charming others or getting something they want without asking directly. It offers the opportunity to test the waters without diving in head first. How easy is it to say no the innocent look of a toddler who wants ice cream before dinner, especially if they say “Please.” in a tiny voice?  There are some who adamantly insist that young children aren’t engaging in flirtatious behavior since they contend that it sexualizes the child or the act of simply being friendly. Flirting may indeed be just that, a way of reaching out to get to know another.

As we mature, flirting carries with it a more intimate vibe. Body language takes the place of or is an embellishment for verbal communication. The ways we sit, stand, carry ourselves, the proximity and angle with which we approach another we find attractive either physically or emotionally, speaks volumes about our feelings.
There are numerous reasons why people flirt. According to Northern Illinois University professor David Dryden Henningsen, there are six different motivations for flirting and he characterized them in this way: 

• Sex: trying to get into bed  
  • Fun: treating it like a sport 
  • Exploring:  trying to see what it would be like to be in a relationship
  • Relational: trying to increase the intimacy of a relationship
  • Esteem: increasing one’s own self esteem
  • Instrumental: trying to get something from the other person

The last one reveals a darker and more manipulative aspect of playful behavior as is indicated in  a 2007 survey of 500 professional women, in which 86% said they “would happily flirt with a male colleague if it meant they got their own way.
Innocent flirting took place at the end of the life of a happily married, 84 year old man. He was placed on hospice for end stage Parkinsons’ Disease that took its toll on this formerly robust athlete. Whenever he would meet a new female nurse, he would tell them how beautiful they were and asked them to kiss him on the cheek when they tucked him in for the night. Both he and his wife of nearly 52 years knew it was a harmless request and it put a smile on the face of the caregivers. 

Jeffrey A. Hall, Ph.D has studied the art of flirting and it culminated in a book entitled The Five Styles of Flirting: Use the Science of Flirting to Attract the Love You Really Want. He identifies them as

• Physical-Body language is a core aspect and those who score high in this realm connect quickly and have commensurate sexual chemistry.
• Polite-Being mannerly and with an eye for ‘appropriate’ behaviors, these people tend to be more romantic with sustained partnerships.
• Playful- There is little interest in romance or long term connection. People who score high are in it for fun and to enhance self esteem.
• Sincere- Those who exhibit this style of flirting are interesting in developing deep bonds and emotional connection.
• Traditional- This category is populated by those who view men as the persuers and women as the subject of their interest.

Hall’s original study, entitled Individual Differences in the Communication of Romantic Interest: Development of the Flirting Styles Inventory opened the door to deeper understanding of the various communication styles people posses.


Article from: Relationships & Love – Psych Central, by Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW 

Read more here. 

Signs a Girl is Interested in You: 18 Hints She'll Drop Your Way

When a guy likes a girl, he probably wants to ask her out on a date right then. But can you recognize the signs a girl is interested?

Men know that we carry the burden of making the first move. So that brings the question, how do women make their attraction known? Since women won't ask men out directly, they give out signs as a form of an invitation or a 'go signal' to let prospective partners know that they would want you to make a move or to bring the courtship to the next level. It now falls on you to be familiar with these nonverbal cues no matter how confusing they can be sometimes, to know that she's interested in you.The signs a girl is interested on social media#1 She stalks you. It would require advanced programming knowledge for you to extract data on how frequent or long she stays on your social pages, but try to ask her in case you end up together and we're pretty sure that she stalked you online with a passion.#2 All your social media activities gets an instant approval. A like on Facebook, a heart on Instagram, and comments on whatever you post... even if she's not really interested in it. You can even post a photo of something so mundane and unremarkable and she will like it. Yep, she likes you alright. #3 She tags you frequently. Had a random conversation? She posts it and tags you. She found a nice cat video? Tagged you again. It may seem annoying, but virtual pestering is still coyer than its real-life counterpart.The signs a girl is interesed when communicating#4 She replies quickly to your messages *calls, instant messages, and SMS*.So quickly that it would really seem like she's been expecting it. This is a little clue that she looks forward to talking with you, and that communicating with you matters for her.#5 She saves ages-old messages. Especially if she's the sentimental type and you have a lot of meaningful conversations, she may even have gone to lengths to have a backup of your messages from now-defunct phones from early 2000. #6 She laughs at your jokes. And if she puts out great effort even if you realize that you're not the funny type, it definitely means something. This is definitely one of the signs a girl is interested in you.#7 She gives you her full attention when you're talking alone. Because she wants to remember, and maybe burn the image of you talking to her so closely into her memory.#8 She doesn't bring up other men. Be it her exes or even co-workers, she takes care not to mention any other guy because not only its rude to do so, but you might get the idea that you have competition. The signs a girl is interested when interacting in person#9 She dresses up when meeting with you. As a point of reference, try to remember a moment when you randomly meet by chance and when you're going to meet alone or together with friends. If she's better dressed when you're going to be around, chances are that she fancies you.#10 She makes eye contact and lots of it. You're maybe familiar with how difficult it is to make direct eye contact directly for a long period of time. If she does this easily to you, and she seems to enjoy doing it, we can conclude that she fancies you. #11 When you're with a group of common friends, she immediately comes to you. Because the 'hanging out with friends' is a safe way to get closer to you without having to directly ask you out.#12 Your friendly group hangouts are slowly turning into 'dates.' As mentioned, both sexes use the cover of common friends to mask their initial advances just to play and feel safe at the start. But when you or the girl finds some courage and momentum, the number of friends who hang out start to diminish until it's just the two of you going out on a date. Also, the locations change. From group-friendly hang-outs, they turn into more intimate solo escapes. #13 She tries to get close to your friends. If you're the type who always hang out with a big group, she'll start off by getting the good graces of your friends in order to get close to you. After all, that's how the Spice Girls song goes.#14 She notices the little details about you. Another one of the signs a girl is interested in you is that she notices stuff, from tiny mannerisms that she thinks are adorable, to the way you dress, your smell, and your favorite music, food, and movies. She keeps tiny mental notes of this which get revealed from your conversations.#15 She gives you stuff.From something simple like home cooked goodies that she 'accidentally' made a lot of, to tiny souvenirs that she got from her trips. she makes sure that you get a little something from her other than obligatory Christmas presents. #16 She touches you. Touching is a big deal for girls, and any form of touch that might be mistaken for an advance is carefully reserved. But if a girl likes someone, she touches you a lot more that what she gives an average person. And the places where she touches you also matter. So if she hugs you seconds too long or tickles you in uncomfortable places, get the hint! #17 She lets you touch her in return. As mentioned, girls are quite cautious when it comes to touching. Especially if it comes from the opposite sex. However, if a girl likes you and she trusts you, she'll let you go further with the touches. Just don't overdo it, okay?#18 She lets you into her personal life.If she shares her troubles, her dreams, and goals, you may be more than someone she likes, but someone she trusts and feels comfortable with. Yes, the guessing game can be confusing and frustrating at times. But then again, men will have to make the move. So if you see any of these signs a girl is interested, then man up and make your move. The postSigns a Girl is Interested in You: 18 Hints She'll Drop Your Way is the original content ofLovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.Article from:LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Paul MangayRead morehere. Looking for dating and relationships guides? click here. More details on this topic Signs a Girl is Interested in You: 18 Hints She'll Drop Your Way.
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How to Get a Great Response From Your Senior Dating Ad!

Submitting a dating ad on many senior dating sites is usually free; however, it shouldn't be done off the cuff.

Favorable online senior dating starts with the first time someone views your profile. It's the most important time in online senior dating.

Each ad should be well thought out and emulate just what you are seeking. Be sincere. Don't lie to the other mature single members of the senior dating site and pretend that you are someone that you are not, because someone searching for who you really will miss you! This wastes your time and everyone else's.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

The ads of seniors who submit photographys get on average 12 times the searches of those without photographs. You do not have to submit a picture with your ad, but it might be worth considering. At www.NRNdating.com, we give single seniors or those looking for over 50 dating, the chance to upload several large images and one preview image with your ad.

When you receive a counter to your ad, it is either going to spark your interest, or not interest you at all. Even if the e-mail doesn't light your fire, it is always polite to send a response, even if it is to say 'Thanks, but no thanks.' After all, this mature single was curious enough in you to send you an email, so take it as a compliment and write back an acknowledgement that the email was accepted. If the message does light your fire, then respond to it and enjoy!

Responding To An Ad When Using A Senior Online Dating Service

When you are searching a single seniors database, you need to realize that not all seniors will be responding and not all seniors will be interested in what you have to offer. So it is a great idea to respond to more than one ad at once.

Never go overboard with your first email. Unless specifically asked, don't go into elongated tirades about what a good lover you are and what you will do with him/her/them when you meet. Announce yourself and let the other single seniors know a little bit about you. Just as someone placing in an ad should include a picture, so should you send a photograph when you respond to the ad.

Once you receive a response to your message it is time to start giving more information. This may be a good time to speak on the phone to get a better feel for the person. Then, when you feel comfortable, it is time for the encounter.

Meeting Your Over 50 Dating Match

The first meeting another single senior is a huge step. This should be fun, but also bear in mind that safety is an issue. That is why we recommend that the initial meeting be at a public place and either during the lunch hour or right after work. If things go well, you can arrange for an immediate, more personal setting, or you can arrange one at a more conducive hour and place.

Try the best inSenior Dating Online at http://www.NRNdating.com Our onlinesenior dating site specializes in senior dating services andover 50 dating. If you're a single senior, visit us to register for free. Live in Wisconsin? Try Wisconsin Senior Dating here.

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How to Be Happy Again: 20 Ways to Draw Happiness From Within

Sometimes life feels like a series of chores and obligations. If you want to learn how to be happy again, stop searching outside yourself and look within.

There are times in life where it is easy to get stuck in a rut. When you are there, every day seems like Groundhog Day. One morning you wake up, stop, and look around, and what you find is there isn't really much that you find joy in or that makes you happy. If you want to know how to be happy again, it is all about retraining your brain, getting out of your funk, and thinking positive. Happiness is not a static thing. It comes, and it goes. It is found in the small moments in life that you take in and hold with you.20 ways to learn how to be happy again The road to hell is paved with negativity. There is nothing that squashes someone's happiness more than being negative in your thoughts, your anticipations, and your relationships. Like a cancer of the mind, you always expect the worst, and it leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because, no matter what reality is, all you see is negative in any experience. The key to life is whether the outcome is what you expected or not, to always find a silver lining. If you want to know how to be happy again, it is about making these 20 simple changes that get you past your nay saying, move you closer to your goals, and make you realize that, even in the bleakest of times, there is a light shining, and you can learn how to be happy again. You may just have to look a little harder for it.#1 Think positive. If you want to be happy again, then start thinking positively. We create our own reality. If you believe that only good things can come to you, then you perceive life in a completely different manner. When you only think in positive terms, then there is no such thing as roadblocks or things that can get in your way. Your life's journey is all wide-open paths to getting what you desire and what makes you happy. Thinking positive means never quitting or taking 'no' for an answer. #2 Always look for the silver lining. Even in the worst situations and outcomes, there is something positive to learn. Life is all about the experiences that we have with the world around us. If you want to know how to be happy again, then always look for the good that comes from the journey. See all situations as fate and the way that it is supposed to be. Find the purest of joy in situations even when they don't go how you want. That is the way to find happiness again.#3 Take pride in small victories. Sometimes we focus solely on the big prize and negate the awesome victories along the way. For every two step forward, there may be one step back toward finding your happy place. But, the real happiness is found in each step and the incremental change that it creates in us and in our lives.#4 Enjoy the journey. We get so fixated on the end game that we don't stop to enjoy the excursion getting there. Life is like a road trip. It isn't about getting to the destination alone, but the trip getting there. Stop trying to rush through life to get to the end and relish in the time it takes, and the experiences you take with you all the way along the path. #5 Don't stay stuck. Nothing makes you unhappier than being stuck. The only one who keeps you stuck in a bad situation or something you don't want to be in, is you. Even if you are in something that you don't want to be, you always have two choices. You can change things and make them better, or you can get out and move on. Staying stuck by not doing anything to change your circumstances is a sure-fire way to bring about unhappiness. If you want to be happy again, then only you alter things in your life to be the you, you want to be.#6 Change those things that make you unhappy. Being happy isn't about having everything you want, but wanting everything you have. If something is making you unhappy, then it is time to ditch it. Whatever it is, it isn't worth holding onto or having it if it makes you unhappy. If you want to know how to be happy again, it is about letting go of those things that don't make you happy and finding those things that do.#7 Dream again. If you are asking yourself how to be happy again, then you recognize that there was a time in the past when you were happy. Likely, somewhere along the way, you either forgot what the goal was or lost your dreams. Dreams are the things that keep us going, make us feel alive, and give us hope that things can and will be what we want, if we hold on and make the best of things. If you have stopped dreaming, it is time to remember what your dreams were and start shooting for them again.#8 Get rid of toxic relationships and friendships. Toxic relationships or friends are the biggest happiness killers that there are. The best way to be happy again is to ditch that person who is a negative force in your life or let go of the relationship dragging you down and making you unhappy. There are times when two people just aren't meant for each other and are nothing but toxic. It is okay to let go. Sometimes you must turn people loose, if they stand in the way of you being happy. #9 Be present. Being happy means being present in your own life. That means not just going through the motions, but feeling all the emotions. If you want to find your happiness again, it might just be about taking the time to stop and look around and enjoying the little moments instead of letting them pass you by because you are continually on autopilot.#10 Get your priorities in line. When you have your priorities all messed up, it is easy to become unhappy. Focusing your efforts or all your energy on the wrong things leaves you feeling empty and falling short. If you want to be happy, then it might be time to look at where your priorities lie and find out if you are working toward what makes you happy or what you think others want. Prioritize what is important to you and make your happiness your number one goal#11 Stop trying to control everything. Life is not to be controlled. It is wild and unpredictable, scary and overwhelming, and sad and happy, all at the same time. Unhappiness comes when you try too hard to control your life and what happens in it. Always thinking with your head and trying to anticipate outcomes leaves you feeling out of control and helpless. Those are two feelings that never lead to your happiness. To find happiness, stop trying to control things and just let them come as they do. You can't change everything. So, instead of fighting against life, work with it to get what you want and to find your happy place. #12 Stop comparing what you have to others. If you always look at what other people have that you don't, then you won't ever recognize your blessings. There is always going to be someone who appears to have more than you do, be happier than you are, and outwardly appear to have it all. But, the truth is, you have everything you need inside of you to be happy. Stop comparing yourself to others or trying to live up to what they have, and be grateful for the things that you have.#13 Give back. Giving back and volunteering for those around you who need help is a sure way to find happiness. It isn't just that you recognize that people are much worse off than you, it just makes you feel good inside to help those less fortunate than you.#14 Recognize your blessings. Everyone has been given blessings in life. Sure, some people have had a hard road or lost more things than others. But, if you have loved then you are blessed. Try to look at all the things you do have and forget about the things that you think are missing.#15 Do what makes you happy. Taking time to do the things that make you happy are important. It is easy to get caught up and stop doing those things that make you happy. Life is too short to live it never doing what you want. If you want to find happiness, then find those moments and experiences that bring out your happy side. #16 Make time for you. Stop living for everyone else and live for yourself. If you find you always have a little extra time to help everyone but never have alone time to make yourself happy, then start putting your own needs above others. You will find that being 'selfish' is a good thing for your happiness.#17 Learn to say no. Stop saying yes to everyone who needs you or your help. Saying yes might feel good if you are a pleaser. But, chances are that you don't feel so happy when you would rather be doing something else. Or, you are not doing what you are supposed to because you are too busy doing things for other people. Learning to say no to others can be one of the best things to gain freedom and find happiness again.#18 Unleash your mind. Stop thinking that things aren't possible. Anything is possible if you set your mind to it. Think outside the box to get what you want and never convince yourself out of something. Go all in to get what you want and to make yourself happy.#19 Unplug. Happiness is not found on a computer screen. It is found in the faces of those you love. If you want to find happiness, stop building a life and friendships on Facebook and create a real life and connections around you. Put your electronics away and start living in this world, that is the best way to learn how to be happy again. #20 Exercise. Exercise helps you chase away any feelings of depression or moodiness that may be keeping you stuck unhappy. Keeping physically strong contributes to keeping you the same mentally. Healthy goes hand-in-hand with happiness, so hit the great outdoors, or the gym, to find your smiley face. If you are asking how to be happy again, then you were happy at one time. That is a good thing. All you have to do is find out what changed and find your way back. Happiness doesn't come from outside; itcomes from within. The postHow to Be Happy Again: 20 Ways to Draw Happiness From Within is the original content ofLovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.Article from:LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Julie KeatingRead morehere. Looking for senior dating advices? check it out here. To find more on this topic How to Be Happy Again: 20 Ways to Draw Happiness From Within.
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7 Winning First Date Secrets for Senior Dating

You are 50 and you are still searching for your so called true love. Hate to watch your life pass you by like this... By all means, indulge in senior dating!

It's been years or decades since your last date? Even if you wanted to return into the dating scene, you're fearful that you have already lost your dating touch. And wondering how much the dating etiquette has had already progressed? Sit back and relax. Regain your dating prowess as you had in your teens back then. Read on to acquire these winning secrets on how to make senior dating lesser of a pressure and more of a pleasurable activity.

1. Care for a second serving? The decision to get into the scene of dating is the one of the goals in getting into a first date. And how else can you accomplish that but to plan a date that would ensure lots of conversation, right? This is the opportunity for you to get to know each other more. Senior dating is definitely no different from younger dating since the 'guidelines' don't differ that much. On a first date, it will be wise to avoid activities that will just leave you sitting mummed in the dark, i.e., watching a movie or a play. Senior dating does not spare anyone on the stress of groping in the dark if a first date became full of dead air.

2. Bringing out the best from both. It is imperative that you consider activities that you think will be of your same interest. A hobby or a shared value built into your first date will not only minimize the pressure on the two of you but will also draw out the best in you. In senior dating, regardless of how long you've forsaken your throne already, you will be given a head start if you do your homework. Whether you ask your date regarding what her interests or hobbies beforehand or research through common friends to surprise her with such activity. If you're really into it, there'll be no way of stopping you to make this first date a good one.

3. Wonderful lunch dates. Taking into consideration of senior dating and choosing lunch over dinner for some health reasons is just a loser's thought. A first date during senior dating, just like teen dating, will be more enjoyable if done during daytime when more activities are available for the both of you to enjoy. It's just that intimate ambience that a dinner date conjures that makes a first date more of an anxiety-inducing bustle than an easy feat.

4. If going on senior dating just put you in a nerve-wracking jumbled mood, consider the ever trusty group dates with friends. This will not only minimize the pressure of coming up with an in-synch convo but will also be more of an opportunity to see how you two interact with others. A charity auction or playing a sport that you and your group both agree to will do.

5. Rock and roll or take a stroll. No, it's not about going to rock n' roll concerts. Dance parties are good first date alternatives if you are not really a lunch-date person. After an exhausting boogie-ing evening, those first date stress will already be relieved by then. Taking a stroll after the dance date will give you more time to get acquainted more of each other.

6. Senior dating doesn't mean that you have to be pressured to doing everything to the extent of straining yourself just to hit it off. How? Expand your realm of senior dating beyond those common wine tasting or book searching generic first date activities. Markets or malls are excellent for not only giving you time to gauge whether you're of the same wavelength but may also give you an excuse if you didn't. This is not about giving you negative vibes regarding your first date on senior dating but to prepare you for the possibilities of a not-so successful one or some kind of a way of getting a glimpse of the worst scenario.

7. Choose: graceful or not. First dates often meant not necessarily be knowing the person that much. If ever something comes up or simply you felt that you're not comfortable with your date, leave. It's better to be safe than be sorry.

Don't just keep on telling yourself that you've been there and done that. Just keep an open mind and remember that you're involving yourself with senior dating to have a good time. The first date is not an exception. Therefore, use these senior dating secrets whenever you can.

Brian Lam is an author of many articles and you can get free dating tips at his Speed Seduction Tips where he will show you many different proven and practical dating tips that you can use instantly in your real life today. Grab these Free Speed Seduction Tips now.

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35 Really Important Questions to Ask a Girl You Just Met

So, you finally met the girl of your dreams... well, maybe. But how do you know if she's the ONE? Here are some questions to ask a girl you just met.

It's always exciting to meet new people, especially hot girls that you either want to date or maybe even marry some day! Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves with the marriage thing quite yet. Because you just met her. But you know you like her, and you don't want to blow it. Not every guy is good at making conversation with a girl he likes, so I'm here to help you.

35 important questions to ask a girl you just met

 It's really important to ask the right questions when you first meet someone - and even after you start dating them. Knowing some of these things will help you understand whether or not you two are compatible. And the sooner you know, the better. These questions to ask a girl you just met range from silly to serious, but they will all give you a clue as to whether or not you want to keep pursuing her.  
#1 Where are you from?Simple, direct, and mostly just a ritual when you first meet someone. 
#2 What do you do for a living?This will let you know a lot about her passions and what she wants to contribute to the world. 
#3 What do you love about your job?Many people hate their job and love to complain. So is she positive or negative about it? 
#4 Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?If you're a raging party animal/extrovert and she's a shy book work, yeah, that might not work. 
#5 What's your dream?Does she even have dreams? Hopefully she does.
#6 Do you have any siblings?This might give you some insight into her personality if you can find out where she is in the birth order. 
#7 Are you close to your parents?It might be a red flag if she's not close to them, although the reasons why can vary wildly. 
#8 What's your favorite kind of food?Is she a super picky eater? Or adventurous? How does it compare to you? 
#9 What do you do for fun?If you like to hike and go skydiving, but she's not a nature lover or risk taker... well... you get my point. 
#10 Do you like concerts?This will give you an insight about the kind of music she likes, or if she even likes concerts at all.  
#11 Would you ever go skydiving?This is a biggie! People who would go skydiving are very different than those who wouldn't. 
#12 If you could trade places with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?This gives you a clue as to whether she's happy with her life or not. 
#13 What was your first impression of me?Well, this will tell you whether or not you have any chance with her at all. 
#14 What do you look for in a guy you date?You can de-personalize this one and not ask about yourself specifically... so you don't look needy. 
#15 What was your longest relationship?If you're just looking for a hookup, but she's only a long-term relationship gal, then you might be out of luck.  
#16 What's the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?Take careful notes on this one so that you can do something romantic for her later on. 
#17 What's the most fun thing to do in this city?If you're not native to the city you're in, then see what kind of ideas she has for fun. 
#18 If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?Would she still live here? If not, why would she leave? 
#19 Would you ever want to be famous?This might give you a clue about whether or not she has some narcissistic tendencies or if she really likes a lot of attention. 
#20 If you would like to be famous, what would you want to be known for?It would be very different if she compared herself to Oprah than if she said she wanted to be like Kim Kardashian.  
#21 Who do you admire most?Most people say their parents, but hopefully she gives a more creative answer. Don't forget to ask her why. 
#22 If you could have dinner with anyone - dead or alive - who would it be and why?She could say anything from God to Cleopatra. 
#23 Do you have a best friend?If she doesn't have a lot of friends, that says something about her. Conversely, if she has a zillion, maybe she won't have time for you. 
#24 How old are you?One of the basics, but you need to be careful with this one if she is older because she might be sensitive about her age. 
#25 When is your birthday?This is better than asking her what her sign is... because that's just downright cheesy.
 #26 Do you have any hobbies?Does she like to knit? Is she a marathon runner? Is she in a band? 
#27 Who has had the most influence on you?It's probably even more important to ask her why and how this person had so much influence on her. 
#28 Are you looking for a relationship?This is a pretty important one. Too many times, one person wants a hookup and the other wants a relationship. Get on the same page right away. 
#29 If you won the lottery, what would you do with all the money?Would she donate it to charity and feed the homeless? Or blow it on new shoes, cars, and houses? 
#30 If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?This question will give you a clue as to what is missing in her life.  
#31 What's your biggest pet peeve?Pay close attention to this one so that you can avoid doing whatever bugs her. 
#32 If you were stranded on a desert island, what 3 things would you want/need with you?If she says a person, it shows she's sensitive. If she says beer, then she's a partier.
#33 Do you have a celebrity crush?Well, you may not want to know this one just in case she asks you for a 'free pass' someday. 
#34 Do you like reading?Is she an intellectual or someone who despises hitting the books? 
#35 Do you believe in God?People say to stay away from this one, but if she's an atheist and you're a devout Christian, then it's best to know right away.

Meeting someone new is exciting, but it can be scary too if you don't know what to talk about. But with these questions to ask a girl you just met, it'll be easy as pie.

The post35 Really Important Questions to Ask a Girl You Just Met is the original content ofLovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships. 

Article from:LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships, by Dr. Carol MorganRead morehere. Interested in senior dating advices?

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His Choice for the Day

Make up your bed and lay out three different underwear choices (if you struggle to find three nice sets, it's time to go shopping). Invite you husband to pick out a set for you to wear for the day. I guarantee you'll be on his mind all day. Life's too short to wear mediocre underwear. Author Read more...

6 Dos And Donts For A First Date

There are many right and wrong things to do when you go on a date. Knowing what you should be focusing on and what you need to avoid on a first date can mean the difference between a second date and having someone that never calls you again. If you know what makes a perfect date, you can then go into a first date with confidence and self assurance. You will know what you are doing and what to expect. This limits the surprises that sometimes come up and can ruin a date.

1. Be On Time:

One very important thing that you should do when you are going on a first date is to make sure that you are on time. The fastest way to make a bad impression is to show up late. If you are late, your date will think that you do not care about them or that they are not important enough for you to be on time.
Another potential result is that your date may decide that they do not want to wait for you and will leave before you arrive. They say that the first impression is the lasting impression. Being on time for a date makes a great impression.

2. Put Your Date at Ease:

Do your best to make your date feel as comfortable as possible. Everyone gets very nervous when they go on a first date with someone. If you are making your date feel comfortable, you will also find that you are more relaxed and enjoy yourself much more during the date. Laughing at your date's jokes is one great way to make them feel that you are interested in them and it will also make them more comfortable.

3. Keep Conversation Alive:

Be interesting and keep the conversation alive. You do not what to show up for a date and then have nothing to say and nothing to ask all night. You should prepare yourself ahead of time and think of interesting topics and things that make good conversation.

4. Listen Sincerely:

Show a valid interest in what your date has to say. Pay attention when they are talking to you. Let them know that you care what they are saying. Practice your conversation skills ahead of time. This will help you prepare for the date.

5. Don't Talk About Yourself:

You do not want to talk about yourself all night. This is a turn off and is also rude. You do not want to come off as being conceited or stuck on yourself. Ask questions about your date. Give them a chance to talk. It is not all about you. If you do all the talking and do not let them get a word in, chances are it will be your only date with them.

6. No Talking About Past Relationships:

Do not talk about your past relationships. No one really wants to hear about your ex. They do not want to know what the good points and bad points were. This is a huge turn off and a guaranteed way to drastically reduce the chances for a second date. This is a new person and a new start. Focus on the date that you are with and start finding out about them.

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How You Can Know When a Guy is NOT Right for You

by Evan Marc Katz

I read your blog and find all the advice quite useful. However, there is one issue I still can’t seem to wrap my head around. How do you KNOW when the guy is not right for you? You consistently state that we should dump a guy if he isn’t meeting our needs and although I agree 100%, how do we know that it isn’t partly our fault he isn’t?
Here’s my story in brief. I met a wonderful, kind, ethical, generous, loving, honest, attractive man. We had chemistry. Nothing crazy, but it felt nice and comfortable. At the beginning he did all those little things. Texts to say he was thinking of me. Calling me a pet name. Interacting with me on my blog, etc. He took his time with sex and made me feel like I was the center of the universe. He was never really a talkative guy (except about himself) and didn’t really ask me any questions, but we would at least sit and have chats at the beginning. I was always concerned about the amount of emotional intimacy he was capable of having.
When he moved in with me it all went downhill. Slowly it all stopped. I THOUGHT I was trying to communicate to him that I wasn’t getting my needs met. I would say, “it would be really nice if you even asked me how my day was, not because I care about the question, but because it shows you are interested in me”. He would say, “I don’t do small talk”. His love language is touch. I would make an effort to give him a hug while he was shaving or grab his hand in the car and always reciprocated. When I told him, “I understand that your love language is touch, mine is not” he didn’t say anything. Unfortunately at the time I wasn’t sure what mine was and now I know it is quality time.
We did the typical dance. We both knew he was moving and as he pulled away I became more insecure. I tried to pretend everything was o.k. I stopped sharing my feelings. I know I made the mistake of not being vulnerable or open enough. I didn’t feel like he was listening or that he cared. So, I ended things when he moved out of state by saying, “you used to do A, B, C and D. Those things made me feel happy and safe and secure and you don’t do them anymore. I need that. If you want to do those things then give me a call and if not, then we should just stay apart.”
In one of your blogs you stated that we should say something like this: “I really care about you, but I’m not getting my needs met here. This is too inconsistent for me and I need to feel safe.” Is this what I said or was it an ineffective communication?
I’m still conflicted and having second thoughts. Did I end thing prematurely without communicating concisely what my needs were or was my intuition correct and he had no desire to meet my needs? How do you know if HE is the problem or your issues (inability to effectively communicate, some minor insecurities, etc.) are the problem?? I guess, as a woman I always feel the need to try to fix everything and I feel like if I had just done some things differently HE would have reacted differently. But, I’m not sure that is true and that is the struggle. How do you know their TRUE nature without wasting a ton of time?
Carrie
This is the million-dollar question, isn’t it?
There’s what he’s doing wrong. There’s what you’re doing wrong.
You want to take responsibility for your share of things, but he’s not doing the same thing.
You want to save your relationship, but you’re not sure your partner is willing to do the work.
You feel sick inside because you know he’s pulling away, and the more he pulls away, the more weak, needy and desperate you become.
You break up and when the dust settles you don’t know how much blame to assume.

Your ex-boyfriend – for whatever his charms – was selfish, insensitive, and tone-deaf to his girlfriend’s needs. That’s his personality.

You don’t know what you can learn from this experience.
You don’t trust that you won’t make the same exact mistakes again.
Does that sound about right?
This stuff can make you even sadder and crazier than you already were, which is why, right now, I want to take away all of that confusion forever.
There is a very simple answer to your question and I’m going to give it to you right now.
Is it possible that you can stand to improve your communication? Of course. Anxious people often vacillate between feeling like a doormat/silently seething and blowing up with “protest behavior” at a man’s minor transgression. I can’t tell you whether you did that.
What I can tell you – and, frankly, what any objective third party can tell you – is that your boyfriend failed the most basic of boyfriend tests:
He dismissed your emotional requests. Per relationship expert John Gottman, such requests are called “bids” and couples that “turn towards” their partners’ bids have much stronger relationships. Your boyfriend turned away from your bid.
You asked him to consider your love language. He told you he didn’t do small talk.
You wanted to escalate your intimacy. He chose to move out of state.
And yet, somehow, you’re still beating yourself up inside and trying to take the blame.
Maybe you drove him out of state. Maybe if you were a better girlfriend, he would have wanted to give you quality time and words of affirmation.
That’s bullshit.

He will be that way to his next girlfriend and to his eventual wife as well.

Your ex-boyfriend – for whatever his charms – was selfish, insensitive, and tone-deaf to his girlfriend’s needs. That’s his personality. He will be that way to his next girlfriend and to his eventual wife as well. I can only hope that she reads this column, recognizes herself and gets out before she, too, thinks she’s at fault when her boyfriend isn’t carrying his weight.
This question is the central question of Love U – my comprehensive coaching course that helps women understand men, set healthy boundaries, and create lasting love. When you’re done, you will never again wonder what you did wrong to drive a man away. To the contrary, you’ll feel more confident than you’ve ever been before, and know when it’s time to cut off the guy who fails to make you happy.

Click here to learn how to gain confidence, set healthy boundaries and create lasting love.


The post How You Can Know When a Guy is NOT Right for You appeared first on Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..


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Love Languages

We all know that love is a universal language, but it still feels so complicated at times.


As a self-help book junkie who, right now, has a simple desire to decode the magical feeling of love on a more practical level, I downloaded Gary Chapman’s book, ‘The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts’. I raced through it in two days flat, completely absorbed so I could answer the questions honestly…

I found out a lot about myself, and what my love personality is. Like, I feel loved when people spend undivided quality time with me and that I also love love cuddling. There was more, but the real benefit I felt from reading this was that it helps my boyfriend understand what I mean when I say I feel like we haven’t hung out (even though we live together!).

The takeaway really is that, though love might be universal, everyone has their own personal love language. What do you think yours is?

The 5 Love Languages.

by Amanda

Why Trying To Solve All Your Partner’s Problems Will Ruin Your Relationship

It doesn’t take a couple’s therapist to tell you that the likelihood of cheating or divorce is directly proportional to how miserable the relationship is. Relationship-killers are built on two pillars.
Both involve poor boundaries. Both can create Facebook posts that paint a picture-perfect relationship, when in reality, the relationship is like living in constant turmoil.
The first pillar involves doing “everything” for the other partner. You take care of your partner’s problems, you give your partner everything he or she desires and, sometimes, you support his or her dreams at extreme cost to yourself. You do everything you’re supposed to do.

But then what happens? You find out your partner has cheated on you.
Romantic sacrifice is the religion of our time. Show me any romantic movie, and I’ll show you a needy, desperate character who treats him or herself like horse sh*t, simply in order to be loved by someone.

Being everything to someone is actually toxic. When you show someone that no matter what happens, you will always make it better for him or her, you are teaching that person that there are no repercussions for his or her actions. You show that person that he or she is not responsible for the problems in life.
If your partner can’t get a job and spends the next three years lounging on the couch while you work three jobs to make ends meet, what lessons are you teaching him or her? It doesn’t matter what you say to your partner. If your actions reinforce that you’ll take care of him or her no matter what, what makes you think your partner is going to change?

Imagine that you had a cat who scratched your eyes out each time you picked it up. If you don’t enforce better behavior, then why would the cat ever stop scratching you?

So, why do we do this? We do this because fixing someone’s problems is an easy way to avoid revealing our true needs, as well as a way to avoid unpleasant conflict. By solving our partner’s every problem, we feel needed. While we think we are making ourselves irreplaceable by being Mr. or Ms. Fix It, we are actually making the intimacy replaceable.

Solving problems is easy. Cultivating intimacy is not. When there’s no friction or discomfort, there’s no need for growth. Neither partner grows, and the relationship starts to taste like stale Doritos: cheesy and manufactured.
Pretty soon, our partners take us for granted. After all, when we try to parent them to success, they never reach success. They never learn the value of the struggle and pain that is required to become a healthy, mature adult.

Believe it or not, a loving and healthy relationship requires that partners say “no” to each other on occasion. It requires conflict. It requires each partner deciding what is and what is not allowed in the relationship. It requires you to stick to those spoken commandments and follow through on them, even if it hurts your partner.
When our top relationship goal is to always feel good, no one feels good. So we avoid conflict, and pretty soon, the relationship falls apart. We’re left staring out the window, wondering what went wrong.

Healthy couples understand that good feelings are a byproduct of getting the more important things right: needs, trust and values. Sometimes, developing these things requires discomfort.
Oftentimes, when people seek someone to solve their problems, they are really seeking someone who can emotionally support them during the hardships. Kids don’t want you to take their crayons and draw outside the lines of their coloring books in the same way adults don’t want you to take their lives and solve everything while they take a back seat.

Pretty soon, they’ll become bitter and frustrated by the lack of control you give them over their own lives. Pretty soon, they’ll resent you and leave you.
The goal of a relationship is to not have all of your life’s problems fixed by your partner, nor is to fix all your partner’s problems. The goal of a relationship is to have two individuals unconditionally support one other as they deal with their problems themselves.



Source: http://elitedaily.com/dating/solve-partner-problems-ruin-relationship/1404836/   by Kyle Benson 

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10 Things Guys Think You Lie About on Your Dating Profile

10 Things Guys Think You Lie About on Your Dating Profile


By Lodro Rinzler

Our guy expert, Lodro Rinzler, reached out to men across the country to ask what they were worried about when looking at your online dating profile. Here's what guys think women might lie about online:

Your Looks

The number one thing the guys polled think a woman might lie about on her online dating profile is her looks. I am using "looks" as an umbrella term here that covers everything from your height to your weight to your body type to you using a photo of yourself from five years ago. Also, please note that a picture of just your face tells us that you either don't have a nice body or you don't like the body you have. Be confident enough to show your full form.

Your Age

"I've definitely gone out with women who say they're 25 but are actually 29," said Eddie. Sometimes a woman may change her age to initially attract a man, but it's such a silly lie to chose; was Eddie's date going to pretend to be four years younger for the rest of their relationship? Since so many men have had this experience, don't be surprised if a guys casually glances at your drivers license when the bouncer asks for it at the door.

That You LOVE to Travel

Many women will put that they "LOVE to travel" even if they haven't gone on any real trips or vacations in three years. I don't recommend saying this on your profile because a) everyone says it so you don't stand out from the crowd at all and b) even if you do love to travel, if you haven't lately it might get real awkward real quick when he starts grilling you about all your recent vacations.

The Amount of Time You Spend at the Gym

One of the gentlemen I reached out to, Dave, told me, "I think women will exaggerate the amount or frequency of exercise they do." A woman may want to show off how important it is to her that she takes good care of her body, but if you list that you go to the gym every single day a guy may think you're exaggerating.

That Impressive Book/TV Show/Movie You Mentioned

One person I reached out to, Sam, said, "I think women will leave off interests that might be considered too girly or immature—any kind of guilty pleasure TV show or magazine, etc. and try to list more intellectual things like books they've read, even if said book was required in high school ten years ago." If you love Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, put it on the profile, but don't be surprised if your date expects you to actually remember it in detail.

Your Level of Independence

Lots of pictures with you and the girls is nice, but when a woman keeps posting about being fiercely independent and not at all clingy on her dating profile a fella might raise an eyebrow and grow suspicious. It's a bit like saying "don't think of a pink elephant." Why bring it up if you don't want a guy's mind to go straight there?

How Easy Going You Are

Similarly, when a woman says how she is a laid back, easy going, go-with-the-flow sort of person a man may begin to question if, in reality, she is actually very sensitive/easy to trigger. Best to leave those qualities out of your profile and show, don't tell.

Your Interest in Sports

If a woman says how much she loves a sport, a man might be suspicious about whether she is just trying to appeal to how much he loves that sport. If a woman says she loves a specific team or calls out a particular player as her favorite, he tends to be less skeptical.

How Successful You Are

"I think some women want to project high aspirations even if they aren't successful right now," said Eric. Men are guilty of many of these ten things too, but perhaps I'd say men more often inflate their job title or position. We may be suspicious of how successful you say you are because we lied on our own profile about this one!

What You're Looking for Romantically

If you say you're looking for something casual a guy may not take that at face value. Many of us (us being all genders) have had that casual hook-up buddy that after a few months all of a sudden wanted more. Sometimes you may think you want one thing (to be casual) and end up wanting something else (a real relationship). There's nothing wrong with that, unless you're purposefully trying to trick someone. If a guy has had that experience, he's likely to be wary of you stating that you just want to be friends-with-benefits.

At the end of the day, both genders tend to stretch the truth on the items above, but they also tend to be part of the most generic profiles. If you want to stand out from the rest, talk about the things you love to do now, like eat brunch or binge-watch Netflix, so you'll attract someone you're compatible with.

Source:  http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a10115/what-guys-think-girls-lie/

By Lodro Rinzler

40-Year-Old Men Want to Get Married, Too! (On Not Being the Old Guy In the Club)

40-Year-Old Men Want to Get Married, Too! (On Not Being the Old Guy In the Club)

by Evan Marc Katz

I couldn’t be more sympathetic to women who are struggling in love. You’re burned out with online dating. You’ve wasted years on unavailable and abusive men. You’ve focused all your attention on work and let years pass. You desire love, family and stability, but are too afraid to open your heart once again. You believe that all the good ones are taken. You believe your time has passed. You believe it’s not in the cards.

I spend lots of time offering advice to women on how to reframe this negativity and date with confidence and optimism. But what about the men? That was the question asked in this viral New York Times piece about a demographic that no one talks about:

Remove the gender and their complaints sound virtually identical.

Men in their late thirties and early forties who want to settle down and can’t seem to find the right partner.
Remove the gender and their complaints sound virtually identical.
These men were waiting for the right partner and the right time and may have missed their ideal window of opportunity. Now, they’re forced to make compromises – same as the compromises I routinely ask women to make.
Spend less time working. “But I have a demanding job that pays too well!”
Go out with someone older. “But I can’t help what I’m attracted to! But I want time to have two kids!”
Make a greater effort to date. “But I’m tired! I have more obligations on my time!”
For every realistic excuse out there, there is someone who is ignoring it. These are the people who make love a priority and make smart adjustments to their lives in order to achieve their goals.

The fact is that most of us don’t take actions that are aligned with our goals.

Predictably, there was backlash to these men who’d dare admit that they’re lonely and express regrets. Women, in particular, lashed out at them. “Women have it worse! Women have to compromise more! Now you know what it’s like! You deserve to be alone, you picky, patriarchal narcissists!”
The fact is that most of us don’t take actions that are aligned with our goals. I lament that I’m 10lbs heavier than last year and I’m still sitting here typing instead of going to the gym. Why? Because it’s comfortable, familiar, and far easier than doing something.
I hope that all the men and women who want to get married and have families find each other, but I know that’s just a pipe dream. Because the men will complain the women are too old and the women will complain that the men are emotional toddlers.
So who is invariably left standing alone? Those who assume that all members of the opposite gender is the same and also primary cause of all dating problems.
Your thoughts, below, are always appreciated.

Source: The post 40-Year-Old Men Want to Get Married, Too! (On Not Being the Old Guy In the Club) appeared first on Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..


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A Woman's Guide to Writing a Great Profile

A Woman's Guide to Writing a Great Profile

OK the time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile?  The one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams? But where to start? Maybe writing isn't even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.

The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will likely maybe someday love YOU?  THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won't like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.

Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don't want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.

Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.

Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.


Senior Single Dating site

A Woman's Don'ts of Online Dating

A Woman's Don'ts of Online Dating

There are some things that women should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man.  These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him.

While chatting online or by email do not write your life story.  His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair.  Keep it short and sweet until he asks for details then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks.  For instance:  If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them.  He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has.  For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him.   Nothing turns a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesn't know when to shut up or how to listen.
Never, ever, EVER lie.  I really believe that lies will catch up with you sooner or later.  Many women (and men) lie about their age, marital status, employment, height, weight and a host of other things in their online profiles.  That is a huge mistake.  If you find a man who you are really interested in, he will find out you lied and there goes any possibility of the relationship progressing.  So, just be honest.  There is someone out there who will like you卐ven come to love you協or exactly the person you are.

Don't be too eager.  It makes you look desperate and it really puts a man off.  They are first and foremost conquerors and if getting the person of their desires to like them too is just too easy, they will quickly lose interest.  I don't mean play 揾ard-to-get?  I mean, don't push for a face-to-face meeting.  Don't email them or IM them too frequently.  Play it safe and play it cool.


Senior Online Dating Site

Senior Singles Dating

Dating Site for Senior Singles

Senior Dating Group - The Modern Version Of A Matchmaker 
Do you have a local senior dating group? I bet you do! These groups are fast becoming the "must have" of any decent neighbourhood.

In the olden days, life was much simpler. Everyone knew everyone else so if you were looking for a relationship, you just put a discrete word out and lo and behold your knight on his shiny black horse would appear.

Times have moved on but there is no reason why your knight or princess cannot show up today albeit in a four wheel drive or similar vehicle. How do you find a match in this busy world of ours? Join a senior dating group!

Perhaps you are not looking for a long term partner but would love the chance to meet people to go on dates with. You might like to go to a film, theatre, picnic or perhaps even a holiday. Everyday activities that may be just a little more interesting if you had someone to share them with.

A senior dating service is ideal as the members are generally going to be a similar age and share similar beliefs both culturally and religiously. In some dating groups you can be very specific regarding the qualities of your ideal mate. For example, if you don't have children, you may not relish the thought of taking on someone else's large family.

 Dating services for seniors are booming as more and more people are living longer and looking to enhance their golden years. They have reared their families and/or their careers are now completed. So now they have plenty of spare time and in a lot of cases, financial resources but just need someone else to share the moment with. Older people have a different approach towards love and relationships.

They have probably learned that physical beauty is only skin deep and while being attracted to the other person is very important, they do not need to resemble the latest fashion icon or supermodel. Hopefully both parties will have grown to accept their grey hair and wrinkles! As we get older, compatibility and shared values become much more important.

 While older people can obviously still become intimate, they are less likely to be lead by their hormones as your average teenager. They will have already dealt with the issues caused by wanting kids or work/life balance. They do not face the same hurdles as younger people when it comes to finding a suitable partner. But it is not all plain sailing. As we get older, we can become more set in our ways and less adaptable to change. After being alone, it can be difficult to open up your life to others. We may also have children or grandchildren who may believe that we should be spending the remainder of our days on the porch in the rocking chair. But you will never know who you might meet or what experiences you could have until you try. So get those glad rags on and join your local senior dating group today.

JustSeniorSingles.net is a dating site especially for senior singles. It's one of the Top Dating Service providers and one of the biggest singles communities in the world. Once you are a member which is free to join and have your profile created, the system will automatically send you some new matches according to your profile setting and you are able to browse the profiles of those members. You can see member's interest, characteristics such as build, education level, religion etc, as well as main info like age, living city and speaking languages etc.

To make things easier, you may also use the search tool within the member area to search your matches by region,city, interests, language or charateristics etc.. It's simple and easy to use. Of course it's safe and reliable. No matter that you are looking for a romance, long-term relationship, friendship or just a casual relationship, you may find your match there in Just Senior Singles.

Thousands of successfully matched couples throughout the world are a proof of this and every year millions of new members are taking advantage of the dating opportunities that Just Senior Singles has to offer!
 
Join to Meet Senior Singles

7 Tips To Success With Senior Singles Dating

7 Tips To Success With Senior Singles Dating

How can you be successful with senior singles dating? Quite easily if you play your cards right and have an open mind.

The first step is deciding that you are ready to start a new relationship. Often this is the hardest particularly if you have suffered a bereavement or a painful divorce. Even an amicable divorce can turn you off dating for a while.

So now you have decided to date, where have all the potential partners gone? My mom says that dates are like buses. There is never one around when you need it and then they come in twos and threes!

There are some tips that will help you gain success with senior singles dating:

1) Be open to all possibilities.  He may not be Mr Right but he could be Mr Right now.  This means that while you may not want to be with him forever, he would do for the next while. You never know he may grow on you.

2) If he doesn't grow on you, he may have a wider circle of friends that just might contain a couple of eligible dates. You don't know until you try.

3) Join several different types of dating clubs.  You can try online sites, speed dating, dining clubs, singles nights etc.  The more avenues you are willing to explore, the higher your chances of success.

4) "Sell" yourself properly. Get your closest friends to write your description, and unless you are a real gifted comedian leave out the good sense of humour!  Often a written description is the first thing that your potential partner will see.

5) If you do decide to publish a photo, make it a flattering but accurate image.  If you put up a false photo - say one taken twenty years ago, then don't be surprised if some of your first dates do not turn into seconds.

6) If you have had a number of first dates but few seconds, ask your friends to help you determine why. You may have given out the wrong signal. Sometimes, when we are nervous our adverse personality traits become more dominant, so we talk more/louder/less etc. 
Your friends can help you work on this by setting up practice date sessions.  This should be fun so don't take it too seriously. And remember your friends are not likely to be honest if you easily take offence.


7) On a similar note to above, list only your positive qualities even if asked for negative ones. You are trying to project as good an image as possible. Listing traits such as dogmatic, possessive, jealous etc are unlikely to attract meaningful relationships.

Approach this dating game with a good sense of humour and the attitude that you are here to have fun. If you meet someone special then great but it is not the end of the world if your Mr or Ms Right remains in hiding.  This is the way to success with senior singles dating.

Dating guidelines for single Moms

Dating guidelines for single Moms 

"I am a single mom of a three-year-old boy. I have just begun to date. I am afraid my son won't want to "share" me with anyone. What is the best way to introduce a date to my son and when is it appropriate for me to do so?"
When you are comfortable, introduce your date to your son as a "new friend." Friendship is not only the foundation of a viable marriage, but something your child understands! All new friendships do not continue, but good ones evolve. You cannot know the future, so just stay with the present.

First, there is no magic time frame for an introduction. After all, it is important that your son realizes that you need friends -- males and females that are your own age. Just as your son has his preschool friends, he will understand that you need adult friendships, too. It is not a matter of competition, so jealousy is lessened from the start.

Second, maintain appropriate boundaries during the dating process in order to protect your child from primary attachment to someone who may just be passing through. It is not the specific amount of time, but the nature of the commitment that evolves between you and a boyfriend that should determine the relationship between your child and a significant other.

Keep your dating life relatively separate from your family life until you know someone well enough to feel they would be a good friend to your son. Start off slowly with limited activities like going to the zoo or having a picnic. Do not assign parental responsibilities to a boyfriend. Wait until there is a clear commitment to the relationship and potential for marriage before considering deepening the involvement with your son.

Finally, answer your child's questions as honestly as possible. For example, one single mother had been dating a man for six months. The relationship had become a committed boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. The boyfriend became acquainted with her three-year-old son and they liked each other. They had been to the zoo and enjoyed contact around reading books and having breakfast together. One day, when her son wanted to play his educational computer game between bites, his mother was talking to him about the importance of sitting down to dinner together. She told him that family members are special to one another and having dinner together was a special time to be together in families. He took this opportunity to ask her if her boyfriend was a part of their family. She said "no," he was a good family friend.

This mom's answer clarifies boundaries. She refrained from setting up false expectations by blurring the line between friendship and family, even though her son and boyfriend were clearly developing affection for one another. When, and if, her boyfriend and she do commit to marriage, he would then be invited into the family with responsibilities and expectations for full membership!

Of course friendships are important, but it is important that you protect your child from getting overly involved with men who may appear as caring parental figures to a child only to disappear later. When in doubt, err on the side of caution.


Back to Online Dating Tips.

3 Online Dating Mistakes to Avoid

While you search the internet for that special lady…the one of your dreams…your soul-mate…the other half of yourself, you can do a lot of things right. Sadly, you can, also, do a lot of things wrong….things that will guarantee failure and a broken heart. Out in the “real” world, being aggressive, demanding perfection and even little white lies are all ingredients for success. However, those same qualities are killers when you are dating online and off line, too, for that matter.

There is a big difference between being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman’s point of view. If you push too hard for a face-to-face, you will come across as too aggressive…maybe even, scary. Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace. Patience is the key.

Nobody is perfect. We are all flawed in some way or another…and that includes you, as well. If you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed. Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing. Demanding perfectionism from a friend, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not just fine. It won’t happen. Expect flaws and just deal with them. Decide the ones you can live with and those you can’t.

Little white lies and false fronts won’t work. Be honest from the beginning of a relationship. Write your profile. Make it interesting but don’t make false statements. The truth will come out eventually anyway. If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75,000, you have set yourself up for failure.

Remember…don’t be too aggressive, expect to ever find perfection or put on a false front.

More tips about online dating.

3 Online Dating Mistakes to Avoid

Ask the Right Questions First

OK. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. What now? How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all? You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is. It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that.

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?” Listen carefully to her answers. She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general.

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?” Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong.

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?” If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

Dating guidelines for single Moms